Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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