we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
