i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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