grandma shit on top of the toilet
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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