Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
