took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
