it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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