its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
