is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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