wrigley field is MILF paradise
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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