If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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