and you said cock pushups were impossible
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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