I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you win again, gameday.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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