So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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