Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
