Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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