Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
