I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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