no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize