fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
