i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
