So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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