my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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