You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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