This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
