i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
