yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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