come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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