I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
