just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
