Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
