Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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