yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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