Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
