So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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