My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
