Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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