I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
