Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
