Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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