Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
