proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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