a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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