Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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