That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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