Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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