i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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