____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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