We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
