If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
