Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
