Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
