I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i think i scared a bird with my dick
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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