can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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