All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
