omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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