How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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