Fuck appropriateness.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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