home. puking in laundry basket.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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