You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
