We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
