the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
